Beware the Bicyclist Predator


Author's Note: Hello, and welcome to a place where nobody knows what is real, what is about to happen, or why. Just beware riding your bike alone on the Tilikum...

Have you ever noticed an anomaly on the bicycle counters on either end of the Tilikum Crossing? I have. Numbers vary widely from the downtown-bound to the outbound. When I first noticed, I wondered why more people would pedal into downtown than those who ride eastbound. Now, the truth is clear. Cyclists are disappearing there on a regular basis, but their demise does not appear in news media.

Why?!? Is there a coverup happening at the highest levels of local police and government? Is the truth itself so terrifying the "public interest" is best served by intentional misdirection?

Through thoughtful consideration and observation, I have determined there is a troll beneath that bridge, and it eats bicyclists. It is masterful in disguise, nearly impossible to see. But a Kid saw it, so she says.

I cannot pinpoint any supportive victim demographics, as this is my initial foray into this unreported phenomenon. My young witness reported seeing a man flying suddenly upward, then disappearing as he rode eastbound one recent afternoon. She said his bicycle, with a passenger in the form of a small dog in the handlebar basket, fell into the Willamette River from the highest point of the eastern-most north suspension tower. The dog was rescued; its master left only a bloody finger behind. Initial attempts by local media to identify and locate this young girl have been unsuccessful so far, but I have an exclusive.

As this mystery develops, I will keep you informed. Nobody will confirm this, but I am working on first-hand witness accounts. Stay tuned for further news as it comes to me.

No, I am not some wacko or fake news blogger. I saw the dude disappear too. This writer will tell it as it happens.



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